Everyday Extraordinary: Denise Khumalo

I was born and raised in Zimbabwe and currently live in Los Angeles. I’m a multi-hyphenate entertainer and artist: I direct, I produce, I act, and I model. I moved to the U.S. in 2008 to pursue my film career, and I’ve been in the states ever since.

When I was about to turn thirty, I began to feel like I hadn’t quite achieved enough. I wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be career-wise, and I didn’t feel like the confident, capable adult I imagined I would be. I began to really investigate who I was and what I actually wanted. 

There’s so much pressure from society to look perfect, especially as a Black woman. You have to have your weave done just like Beyonce, and your hair has to look impeccable all the time. In my twenties, I really tried to live up to that standard. When I took a deep and honest look inward, I began to realize I was doing these things for other people; I personally didn’t care for wigs and weaves. 

I began searching for people who had natural hair. I was inspired by women like V. Bozeman, and I knew in my heart it was the right path for me — and yet, I was so scared. I thought that my family or my friends or whoever I dated wouldn’t accept me. It wasn't until I turned thirty that I worked up the courage to go for it. After all, people always say to do what scares you! This felt like the perfect challenge.

Denise wears the LiftWear Cami in Deep Aqua

It's been four years since then, and I'm so glad I did it. It's an incredibly empowering feeling. I no longer have hair to hide behind — everything is on view. I learned to love every inch of my face and every inch of my body.

My life has changed dramatically in so many ways. The biggest thing I noticed is that people started giving me more space to be in the world: I was being asked to act in films, I was asked to model. I became more confident. Getting rid of my hair wasn't just a physical release; when I said goodbye to my hair, I also let go of a lot of insecurities, fears, and doubts. 

Don’t get me wrong — while it was a beautiful transition, there was also a lot of negative pushback. A lot of my family members were not happy that I cut my hair. The guy I was dating told me I had to grow my hair back because he couldn’t date anyone that had shorter hair than him. None of the women in my life thought it was a good idea.

It’s hard when women don’t support you, but I don’t take it personally. Many of their comments came from their own fear or their desire to protect me. But I’m on my own path, and they’re on another, and that’s absolutely fine. Some women are still trying to find their voice.

I have realized, however, that simply existing happily and successfully in the world changes opinions and gives people permission to be their true selves. I love that, because as long as I can spread love and happiness around the world, that makes me feel good.